


Infectious

by petiteinsomniac



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: AIDS, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, SO MUCH SADNESS, This is really sad, and whizzer is heartbreaking and sick, but what's new, i love act 2 marvin, marvin is soft and loving, set right after something bad is happening (reprise)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:26:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petiteinsomniac/pseuds/petiteinsomniac
Summary: What happens when Marvin goes back to Whizzer's side after learning that the disease ailing his lover is infectious?





	Infectious

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to What Would I Do? the whole time I was writing this and made myself cry :)

“Marvin?” 

Marvin glanced up at Charlotte’s quiet call from the doorway, and nodded. He glanced back at Whizzer, sleeping soundly in the hospital bed at the center of the room. Marvin wondered briefly if there was some symbolism in that; Whizzer there at the center of everything while their lives turned around and around him like some sort of sick merry-go-round that they all wanted to get off of, but which they all knew would end in tragedy. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should wake him. Deciding against it, he stood and took one last look at Whizzer before he reluctantly followed Charlotte out into the hallway. 

“Hey,” he said as he quietly shut the door behind him and looked up at his friend. Charlotte offered him a tight-lipped smile. 

“Marvin, we need to talk,” she told him, with the air of someone who was quite reluctant to do so. 

“Okay,” Marvin nodded, and Charlotte sighed, fiddling with the seam on her white lab coat. 

“Something bad is happening,” she said. Marvin thought that was a little reductive, but said nothing. 

“Something very bad,” she clarified, looking up to meet his gaze, and again Marvin was thinking to himself that she was telling him nothing he didn’t already know, and wishing he could just go back to be with Whizzer. 

“Something that kills,” Charlotte said gently. Marvin nearly spoke up at that- did she really think he hadn’t cottoned on to that yet? 

“Something...infectious,” Charlotte told him. His gaze snapped up to meet hers at that. Infectious? Infectious like it could spread to Jason? To the doctors? To Trina? Marvin was about to ask, but Charlotte continued. 

“As in, something that spreads from one man to another,” she said, and Marvin’s stomach dropped. 

Oh. That sort of infectious. He took an inbreath, suddenly painfully aware of the way his lungs expanded and deflated as he took in air and breathed it out again. He wondered to himself how many more times he would be able to do that. In and out, in and out- but not forever. He grasped the fabric of his own grey hoodie in his fingers, wishing Whizzer were next to him. That was ironic, he supposed, that the person he wanted there at his side was the person who had brought the fear to Marvin’s heart in the first place. The infection to his body. He shook his head slightly to himself at that thought- no, he decided. He wouldn’t blame Whizzer for this; it wasn’t his fault. It was no one’s fault. There was no one to blame. He nodded shortly, never speaking, and turned away from Charlotte, heading back into Whizzer’s hospital room with a new layer of understanding. Inside, he found Whizzer watching him, warm brown eyes open and alert in spite of the pale skin and thinning hair that once had been luscious and thick. 

“Marvin,” he said, and Marvin could hear the edge of relief and tightness of fear in his voice. He wondered to himself when he’d become so in tune with Whizzer to notice that. He wished he’d been paying attention earlier. 

“Hey,” he said softly, managing a small smile as he sat down in the chair beside Whizzer’s bed, which Marvin had recently spent a great deal of time occupying. 

“Where were you?” Whizzer asked quietly, a brave attempt at a casual question that came across more fearful and anxious than he’d hoped. But Marvin just smiled softly and brushed Whizzer’s hair from his forehead. 

“I was just in the hall talking to Charlotte,” he replied as he took Whizzer’s hand. “It’s okay. I was right outside.” 

Whizzer nodded wordlessly, and then looked up to meet Marvin’s grey-blue eyes, currently more grey than blue. Something was wrong, he could feel it. It buzzed in the air around them both, and Whizzer studied Marvin, who was now looking down at their intertwined fingers. 

“Marv?” he asked, lightly squeezing his lover’s hand in his own. 

“Hmm?” Marvin asked. 

“Is something wrong?” Whizzer asked. Marvin cleared his throat, shook his head, and attempted a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 

“No,” he said. 

“Liar,” Whizzer retorted. 

“Don’t,” Marvin half-laughed. 

Whizzer fell silent, but kept his warm gaze on his lover, who was back to looking at their hands. 

“Marvin,” Whizzer pleaded quietly. “Don’t shut me out now.” 

Marvin took a shaky breath. 

“Is it something that Charlotte said?” Whizzer asked, hoping to prompt an answer. “Something...about me?” 

“Not about you, no,” Marvin asked, relenting finally as he began to trace small circles on Whizzer’s hand. 

“Then what was it?” Whizzer asked, not too insistently, but just insistently enough. Marvin swallowed hard. 

“The, uh, the thing that you have,” he began, forcing each word out of his mouth in spite of the way that his brain screamed at him to stop. “It’s infectious.” 

He felt Whizzer tense up at his words. 

“It’s- but Jason-” 

“No,” Marvin interrupted quickly, though his heart raced at the fact that Whizzer’s first thought had been of their child, just as Marvin’s had been. He couldn’t help but think that this would be so much easier if he’d never reconciled with Whizzer, or if he’d never gotten to know him the way that he did now. If he’d never loved him. He shook that away quickly, however, knowing that neither of them would ever change that. No matter how great the price had been. 

“No,” he repeated with a shake of his head. “Not that kind of infectious. Jason’s safe.” 

“Then what- oh.” 

Marvin glanced up, catching the moment that it hit Whizzer, horror washing over his face. It made Marvin’s chest ache, that look on his face, the fear and the guilt in Whizzer’s normally lively brown eyes. 

“No,” Whizzer breathed. “No, Marvin, you don’t mean-” 

“Whizzer, it’s-” Marvin began, but Whizzer shook his head. 

“It’s not,” he said sharply. “It’s not okay.” 

“Whizzer-” 

“Say it,” Whizzer pleaded. “You have to tell me, you have to...to tell me what she said so that I know.” 

“You already know,” Marvin whispered. 

“Marvin, say it,” Whizzer begged. 

Marvin sighed heavily and looked at the floor. 

“She said,” he began in an impressively even tone for the way he was feeling on the inside, “that it spreads...from one man to another.” 

Whizzer took a sharp inhale of breath and pulled his hand out of Marvin’s, causing the older of the two to look up at his previously more healthy counterpart. 

“Whizzer,” he began, but Whizzer shook his head. 

“Marvin,” he breathed, sounding more exhausted and lost than he ever had before. Marvin reached out, but Whizzer pulled away quickly in spite of the shock of dull pain that it sent through his body to do so. 

“Don’t touch me,” he said. Marvin pulled back, watching Whizzer with a wounded expression. 

“Why?” he asked. 

“Why do you think?” Whizzer hissed. “I’ve done enough damage already, you should- just go, okay?” 

There was a moment of ringing silence, and then Marvin shook his head. 

“No,” he said. 

“Mavin, come on,” Whizzer groaned. “It’s not the time to be argumentative for the sake of arguing.” 

“I’m not,” Marvin answered honestly. “Whizzer. Please look at me.” 

Reluctantly, Whizzer turned his head back to Marvin, tears in his eyes. 

“This is not your fault,” Marvin whispered. “And I’m not leaving you. Okay? I’m staying. I won’t let you-” He paused and took a shuddering breath as he looked down at the grimy tile for a moment before looking up at Whizzer again. “I won’t let you die alone, Whizzer.” 

“You should,” Whizzer choked, and when Marvin looked down, it was to find Whizzer’s hands trembling. 

“No,” he murmured, reaching out tentatively to grasp his lover’s fingers in his own once more. “You don’t deserve that, Whizzer. You don’t deserve any of this.” 

“Neither do you,” Whizzer replied angrily. “And it’s my fault that you- that Jason-” 

“Hey,” Marvin soothed. “Baby, this is not your fault. None of this is your fault.” 

“Oh, fuck you,” Whizzer managed around his tears. “You chose a great time to start being sweet, you know that?” 

“Why?” Marvin asked. “Because it would be easier if I weren’t?” 

Whizzer tried to speak, but couldn’t, so he just nodded, and in that moment he looked for all the world like a child, vulnerable and raw and impossibly small for a man in a six-foot-two frame. He let out a broken, choked cry that struck MArvin somewhere deep within his chest and echoed through the shell of a hospital room; the force of it elicited a fit of heaving coughs that shook Whizzer’s frail body, and Marvin quickly sat next to him. He offered Whizzer his hand, and with the other he began to rub circles against Whizzer’s back, trying desperately not to think about the fact that he could feel Whizzer’s ribs against his hand. The feeling of it made Marvin sick. Whizzer clung to Marvin’s hand with surprising strength as the coughing wracked his body. 

“Easy,” Marvin murmured. “You’re okay.” 

It struck him as entirely ridiculous, that phrase, but in the moment it seemed to calm Whizzer, so Marvin said it again, and then twice more before the coughing subsided and Whizzer, exhausted and breathing heavily, slumped back against Marvin, who drew him in close. Tears continued to stream down Whizzer’s cheeks. 

“Shh,” Marvin soothed. “It’s okay.” 

“Marvin,” Whizzer sobbed, looking up to meet his eyes. The combination of love and desperate agony in Whizzer’s familiar gaze brought tears to Marvin’s. 

“I’m so sorry,” the younger man choked, but Marvin just shook his head. 

“Whizzer. Come here,” he said softly, and this time Whizzer didn’t fight. He just curled against Marvin, shaking like a leaf as Marvin attempted to compose himself. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, and Marvin was suddenly right back on the racquetball court, his heart pounding as he knelt in front of Whizzer. 

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay,” he breathed against Whizzer’s brown knit cap. He gently tugged at the material of it, and Whizzer let out a halfhearted noise of protest. He’d been insisting on wearing it at all times, because he was so self-conscious about the way his hair was thinning and breaking. 

“No, shh,” Marvin said gently. “Hey, you’re beautiful. Let me see you.” 

Whizzer fell silent, but cast his eyes downward. Marvin smoothed his fingers lightly over Whizzer’s hair and then across his cheek, his touch coming to rest on the younger man’s cheek, drawing Whizzer’s gaze back up to his. 

“You don’t need to be sorry,” he said. “This is not your fault, Whizzer.” 

“I gave you-” 

“Whizzer,” Marvin pleaded. “Please, please, don’t blame yourself. Because you know what you gave me?” 

“This stupid fucking disease,” Whizzer muttered, and Marvin half-smiled, shaking his head. 

“You gave me everything I could have ever wanted,” Marvin choked through his own tears. “You gave me a wake-up call that made me realize how screwed up I was. And that brought me back to Jason. You gave me the ability to see who I had become, the chance to fix it, the ability to change my life. And then,” he continued, brushing a stray tear off of Whizzer’s cheek. “You gave me another chance. You gave me love, and the most beautiful days of my life. You gave me the chance to be myself, like no one else ever had. Like no one else ever could. You gave me everything, Whizzer.” 

“Marvin-” 

“I’d do it again,” Marvin said, and the two of them looked at one another for a moment, blue eyes on brown there in the center of the hospital room as the merry go round continued to turn around them. 

“What?” Whizzer asked. 

“I’d do it all again, for one day with you, Whizzer. For even an hour with you.” 

“Damn it,” Whizzer swore, hanging his head. “I would, too,” he breathed. Marvin blinked and tears fell down his cheeks. 

“It’s okay,” Marvin whispered. “It’s okay, darling, come here.” 

Whizzer curled into Marvin and cried, while Marvin’s own tears fell into Whizzer’s dark hair, finally uncovered by his knit cap. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Marvin said softly. 

“How?” Whizzer asked, so softly that Marvin almost didn’t hear him. The older of the two smiled slightly. 

“I had you,” Marvin answered simply. “How could it not?” He sighed and rested his head against Whizzer’s, and Whizzer said nothing, but they just held each other, both of them finding that just then, that was more than enough.


End file.
